“Get Over” Him/Her/It


hat does it mean to “get over” someone? I will not believe that it means leaving behind or cutting off or killing any love you have for the other person.

Now of course one must always consider whether getting into the “relationship” was right and appropriate in the first place in context of the time and manner and reasons, but if these were all right I do not think a breakup can truly be viewed as a failure, unless the reasons for the breakup were unjustified, though I believe emphatically as well that people are not shoes to be slipped on and off, to be “tried on” and cast away. You cannot “get over” someone in the expectation that you will need to “get over” five others before “finding” the love of your life.

The way I see it—I as one who has never been in a “relationship”—to “get over” someone cannot mean to forsake your love for her (or him), because in no wise does Christ ever call us to do that. Instead, what do you forsake? You forsake a certain path, recognizing a direction different from the one you envisioned before, not abandoning the love you once had—that is, in the agape sense, not in the emotional sense that carries an implication of a certain direction, since the latter will lead to emotional unfaithfulness to another person. This I claim because it is direction that must dictate our actions and direction that must turn our emotional will, lest the emotional currents carry the will every which way without anything else really speaking to it.

Or maybe I have it all wrong. In either case, people seem not to have an agreed-upon definition, and it is hindering our ability to frame things in precise and accurate language that would indicate the truth of such matters. How do you see the concept of “getting over” someone you love?

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3 responses to ““Get Over” Him/Her/It

  1. I guess I’ll only know if I was truly in love with the women I was emotionally involved in the past when I do enjoy a stable relationship for once. I’ve tried getting over certain women, and I guess it’s a matter of dealing with your own fears about the uncertainty of not having physical or emotional affection on a regular basis, the whole notion of a biological clock, etc., etc. Love is not a rational process, and relationships are tricky that way, so the whole idea of “getting over” someone confronts one’s will and emotions. Great insight.


  2. »I guess it’s a matter of dealing with you own fears about the uncertainty of not having physical or emotional affection on a regular basis, the whole notion of a biological clock, etc, etc.«

    So is it mostly a matter of dealing with one’s needs and acknowledging again that it is not about the self, a matter of mortifying avarice, gluttony and lust?


  3. Bravo again, though it would be helpful to also define (by linking, adding a corollary or writing another post) what the purpose of the romantic relationship is. I’ve found this article to be insightful, and closely tied to this post for reference is your other post about kissing.


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