“A Couple Discerning a Vocation to Marriage”

Some people refer to themself and their significant other as “a couple discerning a vocation to marriage”. I like it: it’s less vague than “in a relationship”, because that could be anything, even if you say marriage is the ultimate goal. The term “a couple discerning a vocation to marriage”, in contrast, makes it clear that discerning this one thing is the goal for the significant-other status.

Then follows all talk about directing all your efforts that way, as does the caveat that doing things physically and emotionally that don’t take you toward that goal can be immensely distracting.

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7 responses to ““A Couple Discerning a Vocation to Marriage”

  1. Yeah, um, when you get a girlfriend, have fun saying that every time you’re asked about your status. What a mouthful.

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  2. What do you think about the term “courtship”, as defined in a Christian context? I like it because it implies that you are seriously considering if it is the Lord’s will for you to get married, and other people will know that this is the aim of your present relationship. I guess you could say “We are courting” or “I am involved in a courting relationship”. Still a bit of a mouthful, but it wouldn’t have any connotations of dating or just fooling around.

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  3. Grace — It’s still shorter than “Political Economy of Industrial Societies”, so I’m not too worried about it. Its also shorter than saying three sentences trying to explain.

    Viva — There’s still the question of what the word “dating” means. Dating for marriage by asking the parents every time you go out and getting their permission to go, for example, is very different from dating in an expectation that it will not lead to marriage.

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  4. I have never come across the concept of dating for marriage. Does it really involve going on dates but simply asking for permission first? I think it would be better to stay away from the word altogether.

    Courtship, for me, means only entering into a relationship after first feeling a strong call from the Lord that the other person could be the helpmeet He has planned for you, establishing contact with the parents and listening to their counsel and feelings on the matter, and then laying down clear guidelines for how the relationship will progress. The end goal is marriage and there is no room for just “getting to know” each other and then seeing how things turn out.

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  5. I assume prayer first for the general desire (to get married) and then continually once there seems to be some call to any particular person. Listening to counsel and feelings from the parents of both the young man and the young woman is a good specific recommendation.

    When people define their terms, we can get past the stupid labels of “conservative”, “liberal”, &c., with which the labels of “courtship” and “dating” implicitly attach themselves. Specifics, specifics, specifics.

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  6. That’s why we don’t say “Political Economy of Industrial Societies,” and we say PEIS. ;P If you would like to start calling yourself a CDAVTM, though, be my guest. 😀

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  7. CoDiVocaToM. Thus spake Cliff. And it’s pronounceable.

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